


and I didn't like the ending

by InkBlotAngel



Series: time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near [8]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel
Genre: Again, Empath!May, Fanfics Driven by Everything I Want This Show to Acknowledge, Gen, MayDaisy Rights, MaySimmons Too, Melinda May Feels, Melinda May's New Powers, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25653430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkBlotAngel/pseuds/InkBlotAngel
Summary: May rushes back to where she last saw Daisy and Jiaying, and her heart breaks at the sight of her young charge folded over the lifeless body of her mother, unshed tears in unseeing eyes.She knows that look. It’s the same one reflected back at her all those years ago.This is Daisy’s Bahrain.Set after 7.10.
Relationships: Andrew Garner/Melinda May, Jiaying & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Leo Fitz & Jemma Simmons, Melinda May & Jemma Simmons, Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Series: time’s wingèd chariot hurrying near [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790437
Comments: 17
Kudos: 86





	and I didn't like the ending

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hold Me, Keep Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25608685) by [Sanctuaria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanctuaria/pseuds/Sanctuaria). 



> This is me just trying to work through all my feelings because:
> 
> 1\. Melinda May was horribly sidelined in the last episode. Srsly, when on earth was she a bad shot?  
> 2\. The how is ending in two weeks and it doesn't feel we're wrapping everything up so I highly doubt there's space for:  
> 2.a. MAYDAISY RIGHTS!  
> 2.b. MAYSIMMONS RIGHTS!
> 
> And will I ever get tired of acknowledging Meldrew as a prelude to Philinda? NEVER, and I will shout it from the rooftops whenever I want to.
> 
> Title from exile by Taylor Swift feat. Bon Iver, because apparently I'm not over folklore yet and also I'd like to think of this as a companion piece to [i think i've seen this film before](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25556785).

It starts in the aftermath.

An abandoned warehouse in the Bahrain desert, lifeless girl in her arms, fatal gunshot echoing in the newfound emptiness of her soul.

She had been about to start a family of her own.

Her mind registers people closing in around her, and she holds on a little tighter: If she failed to keep the girl alive, she was going to keep her safe in her death.

But the fight leaves her in the tears she has yet to shed and the fragments of her broken heart. They take the girl away, and along with her, everything Melinda May had left to give.

“That girl… I couldn’t save her,” she gasps, every word a self-inflicted wound. “She didn’t understand. I… tried.”

“It’s alright,” Coulson answers quietly. “You have to let the girl go, Melinda. _Let the girl go_.”

* * *

Jemma Simmons is 27 years old when she learns how to defend herself, ungainly limbs and graceless movements. This time, she finally stops thinking and allows herself to go through the motions.

She wasn’t exactly built for combat, her fine hands more attuned to healing people rather than fighting them. But the surprise of finally escaping from May’s grasp after countless attempts gives her a rush of empowerment, so heady that she doesn’t completely finish the move.

“Simmons, _run_ ,” May sounds too dignified for having been knocked down to the floor, but she’s clearly not exasperated as she thinks she is; in fact, Jemma could hear the smile in her tone, and her heart swells.

After the second, third, fourth time she’s successful in throwing May’s increasingly difficult attacks, Jemma decides she rather likes making her proud.

“Thank you, May,” she says earnestly much later as they towel off, the words striking her as of the last few truths she’ll be saying for some time. Tomorrow she will be leaving Jemma Simmons, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. behind for a life of lies at HYDRA, and along with that, everyone here that she has come to care for.

She thinks of Fitz, a shell of the man that she used to know, and something inside her twists painfully. He won’t be like that forever, she believes (she has to), but to heal will take some time and space—that much, she could give.

As if sensing the shift in her mood and the reason why, May shifts closer to her on the bench and places a hand on her knee. If Jemma was in any way surprised at the unexpected gesture, she says nothing, and instead places her own hand right above, delicate fingers tucking into the spaces between May’s own battle-worn ones.

May’s heart aches for her, so young to have suffered through so much. In the lab, Jemma Simmons is the eye of the storm, captivating in her calm confidence as she methodically works through problems one by one.

But right here, in this empty gym and out of her element, she suddenly looks small and fragile. May doesn't ask questions, but every time Jemma tells the story of their escape from the bottom of the ocean, she knows there's something Jemma is not saying. She doesn't have to: May notices a change between her and Fitz that clearly goes beyond what happened.

And May doesn’t pretend to understand how that might have truly affected them, although she does know a thing or two about one incident changing a life forever.

She also knows what Jemma needs to hear right now.

“You have to let him go,” she murmurs, borrowing words from herself from not too long ago, Tobias Ford in the barn. Simpler times, it now feels like. “If you care about him, and I know you do, let him go.”

* * *

At times, only she can tell herself to let go.

It comes as a whisper at first, _let him go, Melinda_ , as she stands in the containment room, arms crossed over her body, stubborn, unyielding.

“I was talking about us,” she points out, ignoring the voice in her head. “Every single thing that has happened to you could have been avoided if you’d never met me.”

It was true: If she hadn’t come into his life, he would have been happily married to someone else, beautiful dark-haired children gazing at him with warm eyes as he plays a few notes on the piano. If she hadn’t come into his life the second time around, he wouldn’t have been compelled to work for S.H.I.E.L.D., Jiaying Johnson’s ledger unopened, Lash never coming to be.

“I wouldn’t change a thing.” The words come so easy like Andrew believes what he’s saying. Deep down Melinda _knows_ he does, but the cynic in her wants to reject the idea.

It becomes a louder voice now, _let him go, Melinda._ “I would.”

“Well, you’re still the center of the best moments of my life.” This was Andrew, the man she once promised forever to, compassionate soul and a kind heart. She had never known of such goodness until this incredible man gave her all the love he could give, unconditional and more than she deserved.

But if there’s anything life has taught her, is that allowing herself happiness never ended well.

It’s a scream now, _let him go, Melinda_ , as she presses a fearful hand onto the glass, Andrew’s on the other side, until his palm slides down along with his body, and Lash emerges with a roar.

She finally did let him go. Yet, she missed the window to do that on her own terms.

She refuses to make the same mistake again.

The shores of Tahiti, truly a magical place, neon blue skies a mirror of the pristine waters, blinding white sand, Phil by her side. A second chance at a great love, fleeting as it may be, a brave choice for someone who has been put through the worst so many times.

She was setting herself up for heartbreak, but she’ll live through a million of those if it meant not having regrets.

 _Let him go, Melinda_ , she tells herself every endless day in paradise, and when he’s finally gone—they had longer than they thought they would—there is only peace as beautiful as this paradise.

* * *

Nothing else matters at the moment.

Not Malick making his escape, not her plane hijacked _again_ , and while it is pressing that Simmons had been taken hostage, she’s not too worried—she's trained her well, and Deke is on the plane too, probably with a plan in place. She believes in Deke Shaw.

(She’ll tell him when he and Simmons are back safe and sound, and _only_ if Simmons doesn’t have a hair out of place.)

May has other priorities right now. She rushes back to where she last saw Daisy and Jiaying, and her heart breaks at the sight of her young charge folded over the lifeless body of her mother, unshed tears in unseeing eyes.

She knows that look. It’s the same one reflected back at her all those years ago.

This is Daisy’s Bahrain.

She could experience the hollow inexpressible despair getting stronger with every step. It’s achingly familiar, a sensation that had never fully left her until she couldn’t feel anything on her own anymore. It almost makes her want to run, the similarities so uncanny that it reminds her of nightmares and memories.

She doesn’t.

“Daisy,” May speaks, clear enough to be heard yet soft enough not to startle. She makes sure her footfalls are loud so Daisy can hear her approach. The other woman doesn’t answer, just stares forward with a haunted expression.

They’ve yet to talk, barely had the time to, but it hasn’t escaped May’s notice that Daisy had been avoiding Jiaying for the most part. She doesn’t want to make assumptions, but it’s fairly easy to figure out that it’s less about telling Jiaying about her future and more about not telling her of Daisy’s past.

 _She’s seen her mother die twice,_ May realizes with yet another pang in her chest, and she’s unable to help herself anymore. She kneels down beside Daisy, close by within reach but respectful of her space.

Her gaze trails down towards Jiaying, forever young and unblemished from the trauma Whitehall would have inflicted on her years from now, so unlike the Jiaying who started a war with S.H.I.E.L.D. in a few decades.

Saving this Jiaying from that, if they were so inclined, might not have changed everything. Daisy's childhood wasn't going to rewrite itself, she would still bear the scars of a troubled childhood and growing up an orphan. She would remember how it felt to have the life force drained of her by a maniacal version of her mother, would have fitful dreams for months afterward.

But if Cal Johnson deserved a do-over, Jiaying did as well, and it would have made all the difference. Perhaps in this timeline, they’d even stay together.

It was unfair for Daisy to be robbed of the chance to even think, to decide what they were going to do about it.

She would have had gotten to know a family of her own.

“Daisy,” May repeats, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, the contact intensifying her borrowed emotions that she feels tears sting in her own eyes. “You can't undo what's been done. Let her go, Daisy. You have to let the girl go."

And in a nondescript hallway in the Lighthouse, stranded out of time, it ends in the beginning.

**END.**


End file.
